Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
