You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
