theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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