Yo dont text me then not text me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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