literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize