Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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