im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
