I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
