Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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