Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
