yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
