am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
