hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
