It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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