im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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