Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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