your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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