FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
