I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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