Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
