I skipped work to stalk him.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize