Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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