i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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