I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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