I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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