what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
