You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
