Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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