Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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