The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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