i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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