I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
