Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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