shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
They are going to name an STD after you.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
