it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize