Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
