Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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