Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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