Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
