We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
