I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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