i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize