p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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