So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i now understand why vodka
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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