matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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