She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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