needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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