I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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