It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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