I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just invented taco cereal.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
