You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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