oh god the rape fog is back!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
