In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
