Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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