do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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