what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
