Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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