totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
