if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
