I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
