That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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