Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
and she was petting her beer can
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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