Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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