Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
