i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
A bitchslap is in order.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
