therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
