you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
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merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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