I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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