wrigley field is MILF paradise
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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