I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
